I imagine the locker room at LNP headquarters would resemble an under-10’s post-match scrumdown, with the coach offering up frothy epithets and empty platitudes as his sulky players whimper and snarl:
“Tough game today lads, what matters is how we bounce back. I’m proud of the effort you blokes put in, now let’s regroup and focus on the season ahead” or somesuch coachy bullshit.
Nah.
Sorry losers, you fucked up.
Instead, the reality is more like Squid Game, as Angus Taylor and Sussan Ley (a.k.a. Dumb and Dumber) jockey for the poisoned chalice of Opposition Leader.
Poisoned because neither have the talent to summit Mount Albo within three years:
You fucked up.
With 8 seats left to decide, the likelt split will be 94-v-44ish seats. The Australian Labor Party can be confident they will rule absolute for the next six years.
PM Albo will achieve his hallmark objectives, crack a double-tonne and maybe declare prior to the 2031 election. His successor? They will have to feature prominently in the new cabinet, so let’s wait and see.
Being the progressives, it could even be a WOMAN!
Sorry Tanya, not your type of woman.
UPDATE: the PM announced his cabinet. While listing it might seem a bit tedious, I like to have it on hand for when things get spicy down the track.
Journos hungry for evidence of a schism pounced when Plibersek was shuffled from environment to social services (“Schism!” they cried), and latched onto Ed Husic’s comment about ‘factional assassins’ when he was benched (“Assassins!”).
Boo hoo, Eddie, now STFU and play the game.
Look at ice queen Tanya.
Force back the salty tears and show your mettle, because in politics you’re either a duck (lame, dead, or stuffed) or a phoenix. Which is it, Ed?
Speaking of ducks, I am loving all the quacking by crybaby conservatives whose born-to-rule privilege was just assaulted. It really makes for entertaining bedtime reading.
Nighty-night!
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