There’s been a lot going on recently, a poll putting One Nation in the lead temporarily electrified the ultra-right diaspora, giving them hope and the illusion of momentum after the collapse of the conservative Coalition. That lasted about a fortnight, with two polls released today showing Labor is back in the lead.

I personally would like One Nation to maintain the illusion of competence, only because it will be lovely to watch all hope snuffed out as the 2028 federal election results pour in, another landslide victory to Labour.  Because (I say again) the Wicked Witch of the North will never be prime minister of Australia.  I know us woke-ass commie bitches almost aspirated on our spirulina-green-goddess-smoothies back in 2016 when Trump did the unthinkable, but unlike America where only the politically-motivated vote, all Australians go to the polls, and that mere fact makes all the difference.  We all wake up the next day and have to deal with what we just did.

That said, the average Aussie has no interest in politics.  So how how do they vote?  Predictably is how, selfishly as a rule.  They find one policy that resonates most with their hip-pocket and go with that.  So if that’s having qualified childcare professionals look after your kids (rather than some pedo gronk off the street) they won’t vote One Nation.  If that’s access to paid maternity leave so you can enjoy baby’s first year of life (rather than dumping baby with pedo gronk at six weeks) they won’t vote One Nation.  If you want more of the things you actually need — climate, health and education — instead of missiles and nuclear reactors, they won’t vote One Nation.  If you would prefer not being grabbed on the ass at work, or called a chink on public transport, or sacked because you’re gay, or deported arbitrarily for your skin colour, they won’t vote One Nation.  Just look up the silly shit One Nation have declared as their ‘policies’ and you’ll see why the adults in the room are all smiling.

I’m calling the 2028 election.

Nothing happening in Australia right now suggests there will be an opponent who can credibly challenge our brave, reformist, crusading incumbent government at the next election.  #PMAlbo for the win.  The Albanese government just needs to maintain a steady hand and grab pot-shot opportunities as they arise.  I expect the next couple of years to be lashings of fun because each time Hanson and her neophytes open their mouths they say something putrid.  Of course that’s because they represent the putrid Australians — the Australian “detestables” as distinct from the American “deplorables” — because our bottom-feeders are not the same as their American counterparts no matter how much Pauline thinks the winning-ticket is coloured orange.

One Nation is the gift that keeps on giving.  It has become #PMAlbo’s secret weapon, continually fracturing the conservative right voter base into tinier and tinier warring tribes.  The Teals have split after MPs Zali Steggall and Allegra Spender launched the Community Strong Australia party without inviting the rest.  Melissa McIntosh began her run with talk of “rebranding” but stumbled after she drew the basilisk glare of Tony Abbott.  I’ve lost count of how many conservative MPs no longer deny that a Lib/Nat/ON coalition is on the cards.  How many staunch Libs and Nats have bent the knee and kissed Pauline’s puckered ring?  And of course there’s leader-in-waiting Andrew Hastie, staunchly but increasingly out there on his ideological own.

No the results are already in for Albo, which is why he’s piling on the reforms.  Finally!  I have often said the only real solution for the Liberal party is twofold: abandon their far-right brethren to a Nats+One Nation coalition and join Teals at the sensible centre.  If they can’t do that, then only the mighty scourge of Tony Abbott reanimated from beyond the grave can scare them all back into line.  But that would be a step backwards to an Australia nobody wants to relive.  Remember that while the Mad Monk was viciously effective in opposition, what a woefully incompetent PM her turned out to be.  A national embarassment and disgrace.  For a party that has historically churned out a succession of duds beginning with Little Johnny Howard and his bogus battlers, Tony Abbott was still a standout.

So amidst the Labour whitewash what colour will tinge the result the most?  Usually the red and blue leave us feeling purple, but there’s orange now to contend with.  And green.  The party least mentioned in all the brouhaha (despite numbers that make them as significant as the Liberal Party) the Greens just paired with Labour to pass the tax package and got a poll-bump as a reward.  Larissa Waters has a pretty smile and a pretty brain, and that fatal combination of telegenic charisma and steely intellect should never be underestimated.  We’ve all been so distracted by the tragi-comedic farce of the Orange People robbing the Blue People while the Red People stand by laughing that we’ve taken our eye off the Green People.  While I’m not sure there’s enough for a rock-solid prediction just yet, here’s a lingering thought:

Multiculturalism is Australian greatest strength, not its weakness, and only red plus green equals brown.

I reckon peak-orange is already behind us, and the next two years will be bread and circuses for most Australians while the conservatives publicly mutilate each other.  But take a look at who is sitting to the Emperor’s left with her thumb firmly pointed to the ground?  Labour and the Greens.  A coalition that finally moves The Party of Albo back toward the left where it was born and where it belongs?  I can almost feel it in me waters.