Whether Sussan Ley’s tenure as Opposition Leader is a sitcom remains to be seen; it won’t be a romcom, but maybe a comedy of errors now that Jacinta Nampijinpa Price has joined the troupe?
The best we can hope for is a Shakespearean ‘comedy of manners’ satirizing the plight of the born-to-rule class as they wrangle illicit love affairs and scandal, trade ineffectual barbs in Parliament and make puerile attempts at redemption.
i.e., Jacinta and Angus Taylor’s lovechild should be named Jack Nappiesareinmbackpack Price to show they’ve listened to the electorate.
As for Sussan, she’d do well to cool her heels and get a lay of the land (…) to see where Jacinta points the bone, then go in the opposite direction.
Because genius Jacinta’s promise to Make America Australia Great Again was a totes coincidental and fun promise that had absolutely no effect on the LNP’s result at the election, nuh-uh.
What gets me is that everybody knows a vampire can’t enter your house unless invited.
Whoever let Jacinta into the gloomy castle of LNP headquarters better be carrying a crucifix, because this hungry bitch is coming for them all in the dark.
Today, everyone’s wearing a toothy grin, because it’s about Suddenly Sussan and not scary vampires.
After her appointment, Sussan stepped into direct sunlight to face the media. She reiterated her vote-winning formula (in case we missed it), including that the LNP are against Welcome to Country, against gender quotas, and won’t rule out nuclear.
Lastly, Sussan accepts her nomination as Leader of the Opposition with absolute humiliation.
Oops! — I mean humility, of course!
Sussan also rejects the idea that her appointment is pure tokenism, or indeed that the ‘glass cliff effect’ (where women are appointed to leadership only when an orgainisation is about to fail) exists.
But one can easily imagine the fat cats at LNP HQ smiling as they cordially invite Sussan to sup from the poisoned chalice. You can also imagine said cats sneering when she inevitably fails in 2028, reinforcing a core conservative tenet — that women are too weak to lead.
Cheers to that.
Because I hope she does fail and gets knifed in the back by none other than JNP, who will step to the lip of the political abyss clad in nowt but ber possum-fur cloak and MAGA cap, only to get pushed unceremoniously off the cliff by the same cats that sacrificed Sussan.
