And just like that, Voldemort is no longer.
With a huge sigh of relief we return the incumbent government: The Australian Labor Party now have an overwhelming mandate. Now, all you conservative bitches get the fuck out of the way.
Onya, Albo — just don’t screw the pooch. I’ll be watching.
With 70.8% of the vote counted, it’s too early to publish the final numbers, but the ALP may secure upwards of 90 seats in what’s been dubbed the “worst ever” result for the conservatives in Australian history.
Swish and flick, mofo.
My closing comment in this short post is that while we can thank the USA to some degree, it is sheer arrogance to claim that Trumpism was the determining factor.
Peter Dutton’s lack of charisma and woefully inept campaigning — possibly the worst Opposition campaign in living memory — were more to blame than the antics of Agent Orange.
Mind you, the fool certainly helped our cause.
It’s instructive that Reuters put the Australian election result in second place behind news that Warren Buffett is stepping down. As ever, it’s American cultural imperialism on display all day, every day.
You guys think you’re it.
But if you ever were it, those days are behind you now.
I’m done here.
But it wouldn’t be proper to close without making a short concession speech of my own, because three years ago I predicted Peter Dutton would be the next conservative PM of Australia.
I have never been so gloriously wrong.