I’m not a betting man, but if I had to pick who Donald Trump will take with him in 2024 then I’d be thinking boobs.

Yep, get comfortable seeing this lady lurking in the wings with a hopeful, albeit slightly ashamed expression.

Not totally ashamed though.

Shameless, perhaps.

Because the truth is Trumpty Dumpty was always going to pick a babe for VP, and while Kari Lake’s media savvy made her an early contender, Kristi Noem is more babesome and knows it.

While Trumpty likes plenty of eye-candy around him as compensation for his tiny dick, he also needs somebody who can read stuff out loud.

Kristi can read!

And shoot guns, and ride horsies! She also has scary dead eyes. It goes without saying that Kristi might cop the occasional peripatetic pussy-grab. For ‘merica.

Which we’ll all hear about live, now that Trumpty is back on Twitter. Once he’s finished sulking. The stream-of-consciousness babbling we missed so much, not.

Out of interest, I wonder if Elon’s slaves fled before or after that announcement? Vox populi, vox dei indeed.

Speaking on behalf of nobody, I look forward to months and months of covferery.

Of course there’s a chance America may have come to its senses.

Maybe it won’t be Trumpty at the grand final, but rather Ron DeSanctimonious and his purdy wife.

The fact Ron’s wife is purdier than Trumpty’s pole-dancing Slovenian stripper must annoy the living sweet bejesus out of the former president. He may have to trade-up!

But who would steep so low?

Is there a woman in all of ‘merica whose self-esteem is so depleted, her morals so bereft, that she’d put Trumpty together again each time he explodes?

Of course there is.

Repairs won’t be Kristi Noem’s strategy.

Riding a red ripple to victory, all she needs to do is give Trumpty a quick congratulatory reacharound — a.k.a. stump for Trump — and step aside when his deep-fried heart goes boom.

Nicely played, Madam President.

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