I stumbled across an interesting list on Listal.com (funnily enough) called ‘Top Rated Popular People’ which gave me an excuse to procrastinate a bit longer today.

I started scrolling, and there were so many people on the list that I fully expected to see myself appear eventually!

For the record, I didn’t.

The rating system is deeper than you’d expect.

For example, the most rated person is Johnny Depp, who looks like a derelict homeless person these days, but the highest rated person is French cyclist Suzie Marachet.

Suzie who? Exactly! Here’s the most popular picture of Ms Marachet.

While the list is biased toward rich white famous Americans, if you scratch away it gets kinda intriguing.

The first non-actor is model Adriana Lima.

The first non-actor/model is Quentin Tarantino (yes I know, shut the fuck up).

The first non-actor/model/singer/athlete is Stephen King at #511.

#511 for the creator of The Stand, the genius behind Salem’s Lot?

To rub salt into the wound, the next non-actor/model/singer/athlete is Tolkien himself at #860. Incredibly, he’s beaten by Andy Serkis at #849!

JRRT is less popular than Smeeeeegol?

Get the fuck out.

The third most popular writer? Shakespeare #953. That’s right, Shakespeare is less popular than Jack Black. It just boggles the sentient mind.

But my point (I guess) is not that they shouldn’t let chimps near computers, or that writing is a thankless career which will see you dead from neglect and loneliness in a drafty garrett, but that there are people who are even less well-regarded that writers.

It’s true.

You’d think that it takes some doing to be even less popular than a famous wife-beater. but Justin Bieber proved that if you try hard enough, anybody can learn to hate you.

But at least The Bieb’s not Adolph fucking Hitler, right?


Author of the Holocaust, mastermind behind 17,000,000 deaths, owner of the ugliest moustache in all of recorded human history –– surely the most despised and unpopular figure of all time?


Leave a Reply