Universities are scary places now, aren’t they?

Allah forbid you’re a white, heterosexual male without any significant dietary restrictions living on campus — the lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders, questioning, queer, intersexuals, pansexuals, two-spirited, androgynous, asexuals and their simpering cisgender allies would EAT YOU ALIVE.

The latest silly old white man is University of Michigan President Mark S. Schlissel. A very rapey shool, U-M has had some bad hires who had a rape-tastic old time, and now the turkeys have come home to roost and Schlissel gets to rape I mean reap that which he did not sow.

Schlissel was boss when a formal investigation into the sexual misadventures of then-provost Martin Philbert concluded. Acting on its recommendations, Schlissel announced strict new rules to manage consensual relations between employees, which included notice and recusal/mitigation of possible conflicts of interest.

Simples, right?


Except Schlissel was already playing hide-the-sausage with a subordinate. The President of the University of Michigan failed to abide by his own rules by not declaring this relationship, and that is now a sackable offence in the hysterically sanctimonious #MeToo era.

You have to laugh at the crowing of juvenile memelords celebrating Schlissel’s comeuppance. The hysterical santimony of U-M students extended to libellous suggestions that Schlissel’s relationship “may include grooming, unwanted attention, threat of retaliation, and even harassment.

Hope you’ve got deep pockets, kids!

This case illustrates how First World our problems have become. 118 pages of private emails between Schlissel and his lover were made public. Not one swear-word. Not a single overt reference to sex! Schlissel comes across as a sad, old academic, not some scheming sex-fiend.

But he’s now unemployed.

Schlissel’s sacking doesn’t reveal his hypocrisy, it reveals our own. More specifically, the scandal-phobic culture of universities in the US today. Anything that stunts their cashflow or rouses the ire of its SJW student body must end with scapegoating and ritual sacrifice. Heads must roll.

White male hetero heads, preferrably.

If the President must be publicly humiliated, his reputation destroyed forever, why are we protecting the other party in this ‘inappropriate’ relationship? I mean, clearly she broke the rules too?

Why is her identity protected?

Why does she keep her job?

Oh, silly me — I almost forgot — she’s the victim. Another victim with a cupboard full of unwashed dresses.

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