“Emily Ratajkowski’s book made it to the bestseller’s list!”

While this sentence illustrates everything wrong with the literary world, even worse is the air of entitlement. Of course it was going to be a bestseller! What I thought was just a bit of puffiness around Em’s edges — an aging model’s slide into injectables, maybe — turns out to be plain old conceit.

fake glasses = serious author

Because she’s a serious author now, out promoting her new book. But I’m really only interested in her Sway podcast with Kara Swisher, who tried to recruit the former supermodel to the cause (Angry Lesbian Avengers), but failed.

Instead, Emily has no regrets about how she got all that money and she wants men to keep looking at her, because it gets her more money! Duh! I am a bit confused though. Swisher and I both thought Emily’s book was a manifesto against the male-gaze…

get it?

Silly us. Either way, Swisher gave up debating ’empowerment’ with Em, and got busy with her subtitle: “Emily Ratajkowski Isn’t Quite Ready to Quit Profiting Off the Male Gaze — The model on wielding beauty and power in the age of Instagram.” Feel free to ad-lib the pout, eyeroll and shrug.

Em’s advice to all those pretty, young things? “I’m like, go get it, honey.

got it

Swisher just signed with Simon & Schuster to publish her two-volume memoir. The acidic bildungsroman of a vengeful lesbian seems a trifle niche, so to ensure it makes the NYT bestseller list Swisher may have to follow Emily’s advice, and get her tits out. Go get it, honey!

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