“Emily Ratajkowski’s book made it to the bestseller’s list!”

While this sentence illustrates everything wrong with the literary world; even worse is the air of entitlement. Of course it was going to be a bestseller! What I thought was just a bit of puffiness around her edges — an aging model’s slide into injectables maybe — turns out to be plain old conceit.

serious author

Because she’s a serious author now, Em’s out promoting her new book.

I’m only interested in her recent Sway podcast with Kara Swisher, who tried to recruit the former supermodel to her cause (The Angry Avengers), but failed. Instead, Emily has no regrets how she got all that money, and she wants men to keep looking at her because it gets her more money!

I’m a bit confused, though. Both Kara Swisher and I seemed to think that Emily’s book was a manifesto against the male-gaze…

get it?

Either way, Swisher gave up debating ’empowerment’ after that, and I’m sure it provoked the podcast’s title: “Emily Ratajkowski Isn’t Quite Ready to Quit Profiting Off the Male Gaze — The model on wielding beauty and power in the age of Instagram.”

Feel free to ad-lib the pout, eyeroll and shrug: Em’s advice to all the pretty young things? “I’m like, go get it, honey.

got it

Interestingly, Swisher just signed with Simon & Schuster to publish her two-volume memoir. That said, the acidic bildungsroman of a vengeful lesbian seems a trifle niche, so to ensure it makes the NYT bestseller list with a totally-non-phallic-shaped bullet, Swisher may have to follow Emily’s advice and get her tits out.

Go get it, honey!

I

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