Unable to sleep, I found myself down the rabbit-hole once again, this time returning from wwwonderland with a new word.


I can’t define it, except to say that it’s something a non-binary person might hurl angrily at you for doing something apparently objectionable which you thought was okay but now sheepishly know isn’t.

Luckily, I found an article which gives examples of said apparently-objectionable behaviours which might edge us closer to a definition.

Example 1: Believing that having XX or XY chromosomes denotes the biological sex of a person.

The argument is that 0.01% of people inherit Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, for example, which messes with your bits, so the remining 99.99% of us aren’t boys or girl either, QED.

This to me is like saying “God exists! It says so in the Bible!” but admittedly I was never good at math.

Example 2: Never wondering why tampons aren’t in men’s restrooms.

This left me a bit speechless. I walked into a so-called women’s restroom once and didn’t notice condoms hanging from the ceiling or like stacked in the corner or whatever.

Also, do they have urinals in so-called women’s restrooms? If not, does that make us even?

Example 3: Assuming you know a child’s gender before they tell you, including your own.

Mum: “I ignored the fact I was wiping bum-custard off your balls as an infant because I was trying to protect you from cis-heteronormativity!”

It: “Thanks Mum, but could you please shave before picking me up from school?”

There’s plenty more, but I think we get the idea.

Even the most accommodating of us should expect a passive-aggressive retort whenever we inadvertently offend the theys. The fact we don’t even notice we offended a they just goes to show how pernicious the cis world is.

Maybe we all deserve a damn good thrashing.

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