Sometimes you wake up to weird shit.

In my case, catching up to the weird shit. For example, I’ve been vaguely aware of people flocking (note the sheep metaphor) to the Metaverse. I also vaguely recall Mark Zuckerberg’s sales-pitch back in the day. I definitely recall thinking, Shut up Fuckerberg! at the time.

Mark doesn’t need a fantasy world to live a fantasy life.

But the dude just flushed 29,000,000,000 down the toilet, so what does he know.

Fakebook have put a lot of eggs into this virtual basket. When his flagship company began to resemble CCTV footage from a retirement village, Zucky knew he had to do something.

How to get the youngsters back?

Maybe this:

Depending on where you look, Zuckerberg seems to be winning.

Herding us towards the newest new with the promise of experiences you can’t have IRL, or the lure of profit. Fakebook’s vision of our virtual selves, selecting virtual clothes from a virtual wardrobe in a virtual home (all for sale by Fakebook subsidiaries) has become real for some.

I won’t say many.

Not yet.

People are paying real money to lead unreal lives, though. Some call it “investing”. Speculating that the value of unreal estate will go up, somehow a reality only visible through a VR headset will channel pleasure and/or profit back into their real lives.

If only those headsets were sexier! Apple will no doubt fix it with their ‘mixed reality’ project.

Fakebook is banking on the “build it and they will come” thing. I can see this dank niche inhabited by a certain type of person. A not-me type of person, maybe. The only question Zuckerberg can’t answer, no matter how much of our data he steals, is whether enough people will be sold.

Also, don’t think for a second that you’ll be safer in the metaverse.

Human nature at it’s worst will stalk you in the virtual world, flourishing as spectacularly as it has on social media. For one example, the rise of teledildonics (bluetooth sex toys) leave mainly female users vulnerable to hackers usurping control over your “Vibratissimo Panty Buster”, for example, and having their evil way.

Imagine that!

But that’s just the tip, I promise.

The fact that science fiction writers have imagineered futures that look uncannily like Zuckerberg’s metaverse, doesn’t mean it won’t happen. Because we may not be given a choice. We already interact with fake people every day. The metaverse just provides them with a lair.

Against this tide stand people who, like me, crave the opposite. Authentic experiences. Using our minds and muscles to adapt, overcome and survive the challenges, small and large, that confront us in real life.

I’m not alone, by the look of it.

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