He claims he’s all about The Base, ’bout The Base (no terror), but Rinaldo Nazarro, middle-class Catholic wannabe white supremacist, recently woke to the fact he may be in deep shit after a member of his Nazi boyband was recently arrested. So the advice of this strategic genius to his remaining motley fools?

They’re gonna keep tryin’ to get informants or tap our phones or whatever the hell they’re going to. They’re using obviously every trick up their sleeve. So this is a period of time where we really, really got to be careful what we say. Just don’t say shit you’re not supposed to, just let it be a reminder of that and let’s just press on.”

Just press on.

This is the dingus sitting in the wheelhouse of The Base, the latest bunch of Christian zealots demanding their 40 acres and a mule. Give it to them, I reckon. Greenland would suffice. Plant a swastika on a pole in the permafrost at Qaanaaq, and these volksgenosse imbeciles can get busy with the inbreeding.

Because that’s what white purity involves: The demongrelization process. I imagine it’s like trying to pick the seeds out of a nice loaf of sprouted grain bread so you can officially declare it white. I’d pity the poor exhausted broodmares of the Fourth Reich, but it’s their own stupid fault. Should’ve read the brochure before you got on the boat with Hans, because he’s your Daddy now!

It would be so nice (and so easy) just to be rid of them. We could herd them up in a single night. Corral them in trains, send them to the processing camps, pull out their gold fillings, hose them down, dress them in striped pyjamas. Easy. Those that don’t go to the showers get shipped off to the island. Really, it’s all they want.

To keep the boys preoccupied while their mums and sisters are busy on their backs, screenings of Hitlerjung Quex and stirring renditions of Westerwaldlied will keep them marching vigorously in circles, and later they can practise their stationary drill while nibbling frosty Aryan knobs in the indoctrination camps.

Of course, the old white men in power won’t be marching around in pointless bloody circles nibbling knobs. They’ll be sipping their dwindling supplies of akvavit in a drafty hut on Mt Gunnbjörn, gloomily wondering “Okay, um, so, what next?”

What next?

The fate of any nation dedicated to racial purity is what’s next. Inbreed until you’re bred out. The weak Aryan genes will falter. Just do us all a favour until the ink is dry on the Greenland deal and keep the bigots out of sight. And keep them out of Australia! We like our brown bread here.

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