Well, that was disappointing! Ran the superhero quiz again (here) thinking maybe I could cheat my way finally into being Batman (thanks to COVID or something) but no. I’m still the Hulk. It’s not a body-image thing, trust me — I’m happy with swole — but while ‘green and angry’ is better than ‘orange and whiney’ I would still have preferred something more subtle in a nice, Saville Row navy.

But I went a step further this time and took the supervillain quiz (here) as well, and while I went into it with no idea of the villainous options, I saw myself as Lex Luthor because of my slightly-embarassing Gotham fetish, or Brainiac at a pinch because I hate Superman so much. But no. Turns out I’m effing Magneto! Magneto? While he’s a bit more layered and interesting than the Hulk, still. Why can’t I ever have anything nice?

Whatever dude. Anyway, I always thought my wife would be Wonder Woman but it turns out she’s Supergirl. Which probably makes sense. Given how the universe hates me, the likelihood she’s Catwoman is probably zero. Oh well, so long as she’s not Granny Goodness. I’d be content if she’s a second-tier villain like Poison Ivy or Mystique, but Margot Robbie killed Harley Quinn for me. Which means she’s probably Harley Quinn, just to keep the universe laughing at me.

But it had better keep that sly snickering to itself, or Hulk smash!

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