Is there no stopping the Putinator? Last year, the 63 year old Russian
dictator president dumped his wife of 32 years, Lyudmila, for ultra-bendy Olympic gymnast Alina Kabaeva (who by creepy coincidence is also 32), and now my unreliable sources tell me she has begat the Pootie-Poot a daughter in some exclusive birthing suite in the Swiss Alps!? While I am at a loss to explain what he sees in this woman — with her disgusting monobrow — I am gobsmacked this evening to learn that he has been putin it into another lady at the same time! The insatiable Muscovite has allegedly been spotted applying the five fingers of doom to ex-women’s boxing champion Natalia Rogozina (the blonde below), or, at least, I think that’s what this article means:
Russian President Vladimir Putin (62), ‘Sledgehammer’, nicknamed the former boxing champion Natalia Ragozina (39) she is in love with spoken. Emitted in claim Russian Internet sites on World Public Opinion, Putin in Sochi last week in the city of sambo international boxer of the tournament came after being seen with Natalya. Published photos of boxing champion Natalya in the Kremlin, Putin is seen when sitting next to her looking at me, smiling.
WTF — got to love Google Translate — but that aside, I don’t want to be the one spreading unfounded rumours about somebody with lots of ninja-assassins at his beck and call, so if this is not true Vlad, then PLEASE DON’T HAVE ME KILLED!
There is something to be said about Superputin’s choice in ladies though. Assuming the Russians use Google Translate, I might hide behind an unwieldy metaphor that’s less likely to see me covertly injected with a fatal dose of polonium-210. It seems Vlad got sick of his old yet reliable Lada and was in the process of upgrading to a sleek new car, but then he made the mistake of kicking the tyres a little too vigorously and now finds himself the not-so-proud owner of a bloated Lotus. Luckily, just at that moment, a hot red Lamborghini growled past. The Pute’s reaction? He’s got money in his pocket, and a tiger in his
pants tank and he’s king of the road again!
What can be said, except ‘from Russia with love’.