A couple weeks ago, my mother-in-law visited from Adelaide to attend my son’s wedding. She lives in a world of sugar and spice, everything nice, so no Duck Butter on Netflix for her.

Instead, we re-watched the first series of of Kath & Kim which is a bit unusual, a bit different, but, you know, very noice.

This in turn reminded me of Magda Szubanski — hilarious as Sharon Strzelecki, but not so funny in real life.

For about seven years in the noughties, it suited Magda very nicely to profit by promoting what we now decry as a fat-shaming stereotype. Likewise in the 1990’s it suited her career trajectory to wear blackface for a comedy skit. Now in 2022 she brushes this off as a “learning experience” and labels those who criticize her as “alt-right trolls”.

Instead of being cancelled like anyone else might, Magda is praised for being “candid” despite offering platitudes instead of apologies. I can find no evidence Magda has ever apologises, let alone “spent the past 25 years apologizing” as she claims.

So today’s lesson — you can get away with being a racist fat-shamer in your youth if you’re an overweight lesbian in middle-age.

Or a drag queen.

Or gay.

Or dead.

But if you’re unlucky enough to be male — forget about it. Just ask Dave Chapelle.

And if you’re the most loathsome creatures of all, a straight white male, then no excuse will ever be enough, no matter how much you’ve changed since you said or did The Bad Thing. Just ask Terry Gilliam

All you hetero white male oppressors/potential rapists don’t even bother pointing out the obvious double-standards and hypocrisy. Remember, you’re just an alt-right troll or extremist.

The overweight lesbian in blackface said so, so it must be true.

And don’t hold your breath waiting for an apology, ever, even if they were wrong. Remember, you are to blame (even if you aren’t actually to blame).

Good to see a man in woman’s clothing copping some stick. But back to Magda. Interviewed for the Women’s Weekly back in 2009, Magda is about as animated as you’ve ever seen her after dropped 36kg. She is (dare I say it) happy no longer being morbidly obese.

Another thing that’s good for the soul is integrity. Magda was happier in 2009 when she was 36kg lighter. There, I said it. Uh oh! Oh shit… better start running Kaisson, here comes the cancel-car!

Hang on! Is that Black clown wearing whiteface???

Anyhoo, is it bigotry to point out that somebody crusading against bigotry was once briefly a bigot themself?

We all make mistakes and learn from them. It’s definitely right and decent to accept their apology. But why do we only accept apologies from the Alphabet People?

At the end of the day, conceding defeat in her weight-loss battle doesn’t rewrite reality in Magda’s favour. The stamping of feet won’t make it so. But, like all attention-seekers, negative publicity is better than none at all.

Oh — what a coincidence — Magda’s new show launches Tuesday!

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