Like millions, I solve the Wordle challenge every day. It’s one minute out of my life that I don’t regret, though it can be vexing because (contrary to belief) Wordle has nothing to do with skill, beyond a few opening strategies.

For example, I always open with ‘AUDIO’ because it accounts for almost all the vowels. The next word (depending on my first-word hits) acquits the ‘E” and “T’ (the most common consonant in the English language), so maybe “THREW” or something. I usually puzzle it out on the third guess.

But today’s word illustrates how Wordle is just a guessing game, no matter what anybody says.

I almost jagged it in two with “MUSTY” but thereafter it became a crap-shoot — “FUSTY”, “GUSTY”, LUSTY”, “RUSTY”, “DUSTY” — not to mention my favourite!

The only thing that disqualified “BUSTY” as my next pick was how American prurience doesn’t translate to daily word-puzzles in the New York Times.

Trust me, you’ll never be riddling solutions to words containing the letters “-ENIS” or “-ULVA” either.

Cultural mores aside, there was nothing else in this universe to tip the odds in my favour today. Solving today’s Wordle became a roll of the (five-sided) dice which in no way is a measure of my amazeballs vocabulary.

Then there’s the problem of American-English.

This is not English-English, but rather an impatient mongrel which attacks the letter “U” on sight. This means some six-letter words are in contention, just because Americans can’t spell!

But you know me, I’ll labour on.

Yup, mesenchyme. I totally didn’t cheat.

If I’m feeling masochistic, I’ll visit visit to humiliate myself with 10-letter wordles or the octordle (eight sex-letter wordles at once). Just to remind myself that English-English is my second language.

By the way, at you can fix some of this by swapping between UK and US English. But where’s the AU English option? Miserly imperialists — WTF “Word not found” — we can’t have ‘didge’ but you get to ruin ‘twerk’?

And that’s apparently okay, you monsters.

That’s right. Mesenchyme. Look it up you ignorami.

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