After all the silly nonsense yesterday about Ukrainians soldiers parading in heels, I segued to Trump’s ‘Save America’ rally in Sarasota, Florida, for a bit more silly nonsense. Found that I couldn’t stomach more than about five minutes of his tired lies, so I flipped from there to the stand-up comedy of Ismo from Finland, in Finnish.

Soldiers in heels is nothing new. Many countries objectify their female warriors. If you want to know whether your country is on that list, check the first rank to see who got picked to face the public.

During my stint with 1 RTB at Kapooka, we had an 18yo model from Melbourne who was selected for every photo and media opportunity. Against her will, can I add. She just wanted to be a soldier. Combat heels are for parade, not war.

You’d excuse me for thinking they’re in combat uniform at Trump rallys, too. There isn’t much variation on red, white or blue. Pole position at a Trump rally is behind him, of course, with at least one pneumatic blonde in a tight red dress to promulgate the myth of Trumpian virility.

If the organisers have done their job, you should also be able to tick-off all the racial minorities, plus a vanguard of ex-military types shouting ‘Merica! while flexing for the camera, plus a sea of cosmetically perfect Karens. Word of caution, though. If you want people to pay attention, choose your perfection wisely.

rumour has it Donald Trump appears in this video

While I could loop this video for hours and still not hear a single word that buffoon says, I had to move on to something actually worth listening to. I’ve enjoyed the stand-up of Ismo for some time, and greatly admire his stage persona. The shyly unassuming, awkwardly apologetic Finn (in English) is a great act.

Because Ismo (in Finnish) is actually crude, rude, cockily confident and very intelligent. I love the dichotomy: how he manipulates stupid American assumptions that all Finns are awkward yokels from a tiny country somewhere north whose impenetrable native tongue means they find English a little bit confusing.

Ho-ho. I have to stop myself laughing. English is ridiculously simple to learn. I know, because I did it. If you grew up in Äteritsiputeritsipuolilautatsijänkä and got your tongue around Finno-Ugric, then learning homonyms for ‘shit’ is simple as. Full credit to Ismo for making a handsome living playing the stereotypical Finn.

I’ll revisit this topic once you’ve worked out what kuusi palaa means.

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