Must be a slow news week.

The recent, highly-public tantrum by swimmer Maddie Groves has made a splash, forgiving the pun, it seems because somebody in the hierarchy at Swimming Australia or whateverthefuck dared to tell her ‘no’ to something.

This princess of the pool, whose sporting achievements place her naggingly close to the top step of the Olympic podium, reeks of privilege. Because that’s how we treat our elite athletes, like precious, perfect flakes of snow. And y’all know how snowflakes hate to hear the word ‘no’.

So we get this ludicrous spray from Maddie: “Let this be a lesson to all misogynistic perverts in sport and their boot lickers,’ she posted Thursday morning. ’You can no longer exploit young women and girls, body shame or medically gaslight them and then expect them to represent you so you can earn your annual bonus. Time’s UP.’

Misogyny, perversion and gaslighting all in one sentence? Good work Maddie!

But it’s all about money, not the ‘pervs’. HER money, specifically. Or her ‘funding’ if you want to use the term reserved for peeps who don’t do much to earn it. Oh yes, yes, she does laps of the pool and poses in bikinis. Somebody pass Maddie a tissue. It must be fucking awful to be an elite athlete in Australia. That’s why nobody wants to be one, right? Why our ovals are deserted on weekends, and not filled with obese mums and dads screetching at Little Jimmy to run faster, throw further, kick longer, blah blah blah.

Yes that was sarcarsm. Back to poor Maddie.

Imnportantly, Maddie is 26 now. Not 16. She’s at the tail end of her career, and has revealed that she’s plagued by endometriosis and adenomyosis and is unsure if/when she might begin a family. Maddie’s mind has clearly left the pool. But why displace (in the true psychological sense) her angst to something bizarrely irrelevant?

That coaching staff at SwimFasterAustralia or wheteverthefuck looking at her in her ‘togs’ made her feel uncomfortable. Huh?

I call utter bullshit to that.

Maddie has never been shamed or ashamed about her body. That’s why she spends so much time flaunting it. Try something else Maddie. The ‘medical gaslighting‘ sounds novel, could be a few $$$ in that. Boycotting the Tokyo Olympics may be good for your uterus, but it will cruel your career.

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