I guess the ‘big’ news today was a brief hiccup in the counting at the Capitol caused by a motley bunch of losers. How I laughed to see them scuttling like frightened roaches up the walls of the Capitol building before DC law enforcement dropped the hammer.

I guess if you wanted to witness the final nail in the coffin, then that was probably it. The double-tap death-knell of MAGA — Mike Pence running for his life, and a no-show by Donald Trump, who instead of walking the talk with his faithful retreated with a meek whimper behind a Twitter ban.

Bewildered supporters are left raging. All that money spent on torches and pitchforks! To maintain their self-deceit, the stock deflections are now busily rampaging across the twittersphere. My favourite: “ANTIFA did it! They planned it from the beginning!” But we all know it wasn’t ANTIFA don’t we. It was Cletus and his buddies.

However, if it was true, then hats off to those cunning fuckers on the Left. They made it look so easy. First, steal the US election without leaving a single shred of evidence behind, and then infiltrated MAGA to make them look like a bunch of violent, uncoordinated, leaderless, whiny dickheads. Wow. GG kids!

Whether draped in the Confederate flag or inked to the eyeballs in swastikas, these drones were told to “stand back and stand by” — so they did. Then, at his cue, they stormed the Capitol and … lost. An order is an order, right? When the time comes, maybe use something catchy like “the Pence defence” or “the Giuliani gambit” or maybe even the “the Powell disavowal”?

In any case, the MAGA ship is going down. Just don’t get caught between the life rafts and The Loser Donald Trump! Remember how afraid he is of those sharks! If all else fails, at least Melania’s big plastic 34D’s will keep him afloat. That’s if she survives the Führerbunker, just sayin’.

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