Scandalous conduct by the ladies this week as ‘Bad Girls Advice’ — a secret women-only Fakebook site — is uncovered, filled with exactly the kind of nasty cock-grabbing locker room behaviours you’d expect to find in a men-only site. I mean, if it’s good enough for the US President, then…? Anyway, here’s the link to the breaking news story, which is absolutely worth a read for the lols — remember them? The lols. Back in the day before we all got so serious?

I have no problem with BGA — it proves there is no difference between the genders except incidental biology; we’re all capable of gratuitous cruelty towards those we’re supposed to respect. In fact, I’m more inclined to blame the net nannies for over-policing this sort of harmless stuff. They’re squeezing all the fun out the www and turning it into a knitting-circle, at best, a marketing platform at worst. Maybe if the ‘Bad Girls Advice’ group members had spent more time flogging cosmetics and generated an uptick on the NASDAQ for Facebook shares then maybe the group would have withstood the confected outrage of all these whiny beta-males?

In any case, I’m sure the Germans already have a disparaging term for these pansy-assed guys so violently emasculated by the revelation there’s a bunch of dick-sniggering women out there having a private conversation about penises and stuff.  I have an unfeigned admiration for direct language, and the following well-circulated list of German terms for wimpy guys surely has room for one more:

shattenparker — men who park their cars in the shade because they don’t want it getting too hot.

sockenschläfer — men who sleep in their socks because their feet get a bit cold at night.

chefwitzlacher — men who try to impress the boss by laughing at all of their jokes.

zebrastreifenbenutzer — men who insist on using the zebra-crossing.

beckenrandschwimmer — men who only swim near the edge of the pool.

handschuhschneeballwerfer — men who put on gloves before throwing a snowball because it makes their fingers cold.

sitzpinkler — men who sit down to pee.

Given my limited understanding of the language, except the observation that you just seem to bolt words together, I’d say there’s already a term for the men who shut down the BGA group.  If we accept that what’s been good for the goose this past five thousand years is now (in fairness) good for the ganders, then isn’t it time for these limp dicks (schlappschwanzers) to harden up?

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