Today’s news in brief:
George Pell has died from
guilt post-operative heart complications. The passing of a priest who once declared that abortion is worse than paedophilia will have the men he never abused quietly cheering today.
His cadaver is being shipped back, but if it fell into the ocean nobody would care.
Prince Harry’s first fantasy novel is out, and all the PR work he did with Oprah and Netflix has cash-registers ringing.
Hope it gains ‘the Whinger and the Ginger’ back to their covetted lifestyle so that they shut up until the divorce.
The 80th Golden Globes are dropping, which is sure to spew up some god-awful frocks and tokenistic rebalancing of past wrongs.
I have no doubt that the mantra — “Proudly accept this award on behalf of us [enter victim group]’s everywhere, y’all!” — will be on high-rotation.
The world bankers at Davos are muttering over their canapes and Sancerre that the economic outlook looks nasty for wealthy white people everywhere.
“Luckily, we’re all rich!” will be the toast before they tuck in to a nice medium-rare schweizer rinderfilet at Extrablatt.
Australia is maybe/maybe not buying some nuclear submarines if our AUKUS partners let us. But we NEED them to pre-emptively wipe the Solomon Islands off the map, to save us grief later with China.
Don’t worry, we’ll just say it was an innocent social experiment gone wrong and blame the work-experience kid.
I’m sure there’s much more, like that coronavirus variant exploding out of you-know-where, but ABC news’ Karina Carvalho is beginning to loop and I don’t care what’s happening in the T20 because it’s not real cricket.