Hey! I may have discovered something about sport which I don’t have to pretend to enjoy!

Fox Sports’ reporter Tom Morris has been punted, following audio recordings made public in which he says some pretty hilariously inappropriate things. Firstly, his generally positive (all things considered) opinion of fellow Fox Sports reporter Megan Barnard.


I have done ten whole minutes of research, and can’t find any evidence to corroborate Tom’s claim that Megan has “got her liquor license”. Nothing. Either Megan has actual friends, or she’s yet to piss somebody off.

Because then it will be — BAM! — all that carpet cleaning gone viral. All I could find was this, and it’s hardly incriminating:

Megan on the far right, enjoying a friendly cuddle. Learn from Silly Tom and keep those frenemies close, Megan!

Tom’s second betrayal involves a short, dark video from a match where’s he’s among “the lads on tier four” — whatever that is — and maybe just a teeny-tiny bit inebriated. This shit is surprisingly hard to track down after the event, so enjoy:

I don’t know Tom Morris, he comes across as an immature dickhead; but wow! what a precious world we live in! As usual, the comments section is illuminative. A vast majority seem to agree with this guy:

Thank you, sports. Best laugh I’ve had all week.

I note the usual abject grovelling apology from Silly Tom, but the damage is done. Next week, he’ll be lucky to find work in Nuriootpa freelancing for The Leader, doing interviews with dozy septuagenarians about village life in the Barossa.

With Tom’s slot (so to speak) vacant, Fox Sports can now employ yet another female journalist with an encyclopaedic knowlege of kickball whose long career in professional sports adds value to her insightful commentary. In a tight dress, of course, with heels.

But like totally appropriate, empowering and non-sexist!

Because who doesn’t love them apples.

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