You’re wondering why this blogger has yet to chronicle the fall of St Gladys? You remember her, our heroic and hard-working Premier, brought down by her dirty dealings with dodgy Darryl?
I’m waiting for the ICAC (Independent Commission Against Corruption) findings. I want to rub some noses into it, those who dismissed the proceedings as “star chamber, kangaroo court, crowd-sourced McCarthyism all rolled into one.” Unfortunately, the country is infested with idiots: dodgy daryls who believe we don’t need independent watchdogs…
Of course, the same dodgy daryls were braying with delight and clinking “Cheers!” with crystal champagne flutes brimming on Sussex Street when ICAC sent former Labor politicians Eddie Obeid and Ian Macdonald straight to gaol.
Hypocrisy never goes out of fashion.
But while we wait for the final outcome (a slap on the wrist), St Gladys dented her halo by admitting that misuse of public monies is “normal political business”. Labor are balls-deep into it themselves, so the can’t exactly claim the higher ground.
What a sad state of affairs when behaviour that would get us sacked or sent to gaol is considered par for the course by our political “leaders”.
Answer? Maybe we need to follow the trend developing in other democracies around the world, and give all our top jobs not to career-politicians and mandarins, but celebrities.
No — don’t spit your coffee, I’m serious. Here’s why:
They could scarcely do worse.
Of course, we tried it already. Mostly football players who can barely scratch their names in crayon, but occasionally you’ll get a musician (Peter Garrett, Midnight Oil) or a radio personality (Derryn Hinch, the ‘human headline’) in the mix.
But these old white fellas just don’t tick enough boxes anymore. It’s 2021 baby.
So I vote @celestebarber to be the next Premier of New South Wales. Chris Hemsworth could be her Deputy, just stand around looking good in a suit and nodding to everything Celeste says.
Celeste Barber for Premier? Tell me I’m wrong!
I would fill her cabinet the way you make a martini and/or fill a clown-car.
For every sportsperson, add 1.5 social media influencers. If one influencer also happens to be a former winner of The Block and/or any cooking show ever, add an actor. If the actor has sold >1 million copies of a weight-loss program, subtract an influencer. Add a model who is LGBTQQIP2SAA appproved, and shake or stir to taste. Garnish with an unexpected twist, then serve.
Remember! One of them has to be the Treasurer, so they need to be able to count! And while your Attorney-General doesn’t actually need to be a lawyer, make sure they’re not a rapist either.