I know!
Let’s replace every image of a white man with that of somebody more socially acceptable to the whiny apologists that dominate this corner of the universe at this sad inflection point in history.
Yay, diversity!
Kobe Bryant, rapist, really should replace Kerry West as the NBA icon, because that’ll make everything so much better. Mount Rushmore? Chip those slavers down and replace them with the Jackson Five. Abraham Lincoln, that ole wife-beater? Who cares about “history” when her story demands Lincoln’s wife was probably oppressed, so let’s memorialise her in white (oops racist!) marble to represent not just deomcracy but democracy with a social conscience.
Statue of Liberty, though, leave that wicked green bitch alone.
Here in Australia we have more statues than we have rivers to tip them into. Statues of men undeserving of immortalisation. Even if it can’t be proved, every famous ‘he’ was probably a racist homophobe who beat his wife and kept a bunch of Native Australians chained to the kangaroos he bestialised in his outhouse. So let’s tip his white Empire ass into the drink and pretend he never existed!
Problem? What problem?
Only it doesn’t work that way, does it kids. History is full of lies and liars. For example, I’m glad Maya Angelou is dead. Fifty honorary degrees? If a white girl had written “Still I Rise” her English tutor would have laughed her lilly-ass out of class. But instead Angleou was nominated for a Pulitzer? Should have stuck to pole-dancing. This caged bird was a fake, but dare tell BLM that. How many talented Americans got pushed aside by this greedy fraud?
She’s but one of a multitude of frauds who laughed thelselves all the way to the bank. But instead of standing against the tide of revanchists and scared-stupid-white-people, I’m stepping aside. I’ve seen what happens after the flood. Sooner or later everything finds its level. I want to torment the big fish suddenly stranded in tiny pools.
And in the interim it would be wise to play the working-class ethnic kid with the funny name to maximum advantage. If I were particularly ruthless, I’d be Erik twice a week, and Erika the balance. If one announced one’s non-binarism, one might perhaps even rule the world. I could get t-shirts printed!
Because the lie that “normal is me” has never been truer than it is now. I mean, Kobe Bryant. Didn’t some white guy kill him with an aircraft? That’s novel. But instead of honoring the pilot for ridding the world of yet another rapist, apparently he’s now the bad guy and Kobe Bryant ascends to join the pantheon of new gods we’re told we must worship.
Maybe only white men can be rapists…
Anyway, being who I be, I’ll bend the knee for nobody.
And that line, let’s be honest, is more ‘poetic’ than anything Maya Angelou ever put in print.
Sorry Oprah.
ἢ τὰν ἢ ἐπὶ τᾶς