One hundred subscribers!
In six years, I’ve written 311 posts, which averages about one post per week. My reluctance to engage with humans (genuine -v- trendy introversion) is reflected in my all-time comments (41). WordPress Insights tells me I’m most popular at 2am on a Thursday, which has some queer logic to it, because I’m up at 2am on Thursdays reading random blogs too. On average, 12-18% of you are reading me when you should be sleeping. Get some sleep! I haven’t factored in time zones so it could be that you’re reading me when you should be working. Get back to work! No, I’m kidding — keep reading you mofos I need the subs. Also, maybe 0200hrs is when random bloggers get discovered after peeps have chased one too many rabbits down one too many burrows after one too many akvavits… If you were looking for weird Scandi-porn, then I am sorry to disappoint you. Although …
Anyway, thank you. I already said that, but I properly mean it. I don’t have one hundred friends. In all of my lifetime, if I tallied up the people I have ever known (and done more with than casually frottaged on crowded public transport) I’d still be struggling to make such a number. I’d fail the real test of friendship: If I died tomorrow, would one hundred people attend? No. If I retired tomorrow, would one hundred people attend? Fuck no. But maybe there’s a subtler test of interconnectedness — if I killed off this blog, would one hundred people actually notice? Maybe. Your decision to click that fateful button is more affirmative and accepting than anything I’ve experienced in my life, and so I say once again, thank you. More Scandi-porn, as a reward:
Where to from here? Well, for one I won’t be yielding to the ‘Make money from your website!’ implorations (is that a word? it should be) I keep getting from WordPress. I hope nobody from WP Sales reads this, or I might get booted. Instead, they’ll have to be satisfied with my exorbitant annual Premium Plan subscription revenue, because I won’t have a sidebar flogging dildos, hand sanitizer, or whatever. I presume they match your content with the stuff they’re advertising, so it would probably be “Trump’s Extra-Strong Bleach” or something that removes unsightly stains from Goretex. If I could pick, the ads would be something photography-related, because I’m enjoying that hobby more and more, or prospecting / hiking / camping themed. That (by the way) is a hint at my future direction: expect to see more original photography (SFW) and bushwalking adventures. Okay, okay,more Scandi-porn:
But also, this is the place where I face my fears. I’ve managed to poorly disguise my occupation mostly because of an internal policy document which warns me of dire consequences if I don’t. I don’t doubt any sentient life-form could fail to distinguish my private comment from remarks representative of a highly scandal-phobic organisation, but my superiors don’t necessarily fall into the category of sentience. So I lurk in the shadows and assume you’ll intuit. I may be wrong, but you are a carefully selected bunch. You are all thinking human beings, otherwise why would you be here? Why would you have stayed with me all this time?
Hint: my favourite colour is blue.
So if you are new to the site, welcome. If you are an old, mouldy rusted-on follower of this wayward, stream-of-consciousness diarising fool, then welcome back.